OK it's been really really a long time since I've had time to actually sit here and think of something constructive to type and such...

Things for me now are good!  Good isn't even the world I'd use.  School is ok, I'm thinking of dropping my math class b/c...i hate math...anyways yeah...

I have a new male companion, his name is Larz.  I don't really know how it all happened, basically it was gradual...I just fell for him somehow.  He listens to everything I have to say, and he tells me I'm beautiful.  How much more could a girl ask for?!  Out of ALL the guys I've been involved with, relationship or otherwise, I've never been treated so nicely, with so much respect and so much love.  It's like a breath of fresh air.  After having asshole jerks just use me, and then make me feel bad b/c they know I'll fall for it.  I have finally found out that I don't have to put up with that shit b/c I have found someone who actually cares about how I feel.  It's a revolution.

WOW.

wow, billah's been buizzay!

anyways I had to drop a line b/c it's been a while...  what's new with me?  not a whole helluva lot.  I've been hanging out with this supercool guy lately.  He's sooooooooo nice.  ahhhh... 

tons of homework as usual, I have a speech due on thursday and hopefully soon I'll find out if I've sealed the editor position for next year on the paper.  I really hope I get it...cross your fingers for me!  hmmm am I feeling poetic?! sure why not

...

it's the time you notice

looking into my face

studying me my move my move

you let me

and we smile

and it feels right

so be it

i'm out kids.

I'm the one who always is there.

I'm the one you always come back to.

I'm the one who actually cares.

And I'm the one who gets the blame.

Jason- For sooo long I have put you as number one.  Things have changed and I would like to preserve our friendship, and you may or may not know this, but on so many different levels you have hurt me, and I don't know if I'm ready to dive head in again to just be let down.  I wish you the best with anne.

Lately I've been pretty happy, I have tons of homework and such, but that's just little stuff.  It seems everyone when they get down, they make me feel guilty.  Every single person...  Maybe I deserve it...I guess I do.  Anyways, I have homework calling my name.

The name of my column is called, "and the kitchen sink" and my picture is horrible, but hay, I have my own column so why do I care?!

I'm out.

He touches me as if I'm as delicate as fine glass...running his fingers over my stomach drives me crazy.

He listens to me, and thinks of me first, of my wants and needs...

Ahhh if only I could find a guy like that...or have I?

Gotta go to class for now, but I'll write more when I'm not soooo buizzay!

my break is almost over!  where did all the time go??!!!  I'm excited though to get back to school, but I'm gonna have a lot of work to get done.  mostly, I'm excited about being feature editor and just moving on with my life.

yesterday I went shopping, bought some shoes, I always feel better when I buy shoes.  hehehe  right now I'm really mixed up and I just hope I don't mess up my life, I'll leave that up to fate I suppose.

Oh, and thanks for all the awesome, splendid, and thoughtful comments, they make me feel lots better.  still having a hard time, but livin it as always.

I'm out.